How to use this Handbook:

Domestic violence is a major problem, both in California and throughout the United States. The FBI estimates that one-fourth of all homicides in this country occur within the family, and one-half of these are husband-wife killings.

The Domestic Violence Handbook was developed as a survivors guide for victims of domestic violence. While domestic violence is a term that is used to describe many kinds of family violence, including child, spouse and elder abuse, this handbook specifically talks about spouse or partner abuse that occurs between couples in ongoing relationships (whether or not they are married). Since women are most often the victims of domestic violence, the information is primarily directed to the battered woman or wife. However, it should be noted that incidents of domestic violence against men are increasing, and domestic violence also exists in gay and lesbian relationships.

Domestic Violence can take many forms, including physical, verbal or emotional abuse, intimidation, denial of rights or sexual assault. If you are in a relationship where domestic violence is occurring or has happened in the past, this hand-book can help you. The material has been organized in the following way:

Chapter 1, Dealing with Domestic Violence, contains information on how to get help if you are a victim of domestic violence and need to protect yourself immediately.

Chapter 2, Understanding Domestic Violence, provides background information on the nature and causes of domestic violence, to help you learn what is happening and why.

Chapter 3, Living Violence-Free, discusses a number of alternatives you may want to consider in order to have a life free from violence.

Chapter 4, Resources For Victims Of Domestic Violence, includes the names of support organizations, books for further reading, and sources for general, legal and financial information you may find helpful.

If possible, try to read through the handbook when you have the time and privacy to familiarize yourself with all of the information. If you are being hurt, and you have to leave your home suddenly, Chapter 1 contains a checklist of things you may want to take with you, (Chapter 3 includes some additional suggestions on what to take with you if you move out for a period of time or permanently.) If time permits, there is also a personal Plan Ahead Checklist located at the back of the handbook that you can fill out in case you need it. Having this important information already in place may be helpful should you find yourself in a crisis situation where you are upset and in a hurry.

Domestic violence can begin with angry words, a shove or a slap. Quite often, this behavior escalates, establishing a pattern of abuse. Without intervention, the assaults often become more frequent and more violent as time goes on. Domestic violence creates feelings of isolation, anger, disappointment, loneliness or bitterness for victims. It can negatively impact children who witness the violent behavior. Domestic violence can also result in permanent physical injury or even death.

Above all, Domestic Violence Is A Crime. You do not have to remain a victim - you are a survivor, and help is available. If you need assistance, contact your local domestic violence program, the Victims of Crime Resource Center at 1-800-VICTIMS (1-800-842-8467), or one of the organizations listed in this handbook. The Crime and Violence Prevention Center staff and others who contributed to this publication hope it will be of benefit to you and wish you the best.

Dealing With Domestic Violence

If you are a victim of domestic violence, safety is the first priority for you and your children. Help is available, and you have options!

• Call 911 or leave as soon as possible. If your batterer is still in the house, and you think he may batter you again, call 911, go to a neighbor's house or other safe place, or call a friend or relative to come and pick you up. You can also ask you local police or sheriff's department for the telephone number of a family violence shelter.

• Call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) or the Victims of Crime Resource Center at 1-800-VICTIMS (1-800-842-8467). These centers can help you locate a family violence shelter in your area or offer you other assistance. (Their services are described in more detail in Chapter 4.)

Call 911 in an Emergency 

If you call 911, explain to the dispatcher exactly what is happening to you. For example, say, "My husband hit me. Now he's threatening me with a knife." The dispatcher may ask you some questions. Answer as clearly as you can and be sure to say if:

• You have suffered any serious injuries.
• Your batterer is still there or has threatened to return soon.
• You batterer has threatened to harm you again or hurt your children.
• There is a weapon involved and, if so, what type.
• Your batterer is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
• You have called 911 before.

The police of sheriff's deputies will respond faster if any of these factors are present, and they will be better prepared to help you when they arrive. Call them as soon as you can. If you believe you are in danger, leave your home. If you must leave, let the police or sheriff's department know how to contact you.

The responding officers can also help you with an Emergency Protective Order, which is explained in more detail in Chapter 3.

Whenever you believe you are in danger, you can also leave your home and take your children. If you leave, whether you believe it will be for a short time or for good, it is important to take the items listed below:

• Money
• Keys
• Drivers License
• Car Registration
• Checkbooks
• Credit Cards
• Medications
• Address Book
• Green card(s) for immigration verification

It will take courage to call for help or leave, but it may save you and your children from a future filled with repeated violence. Even if you have to leave your house in the middle of the night without packing, it is better than possibly subjecting yourself to more battering. You may be embarrassed, but you will have a better chance of being safe and unharmed.

Always get the medical attention you need after a beating. Do not try to patch yourself up. You may be injured much more seriously than you realize. As soon as possible, see your private physician or go to a hospital emergency department.

Tell the doctor and nurses what happened to you so they can note it in their records. You will then have the information on file if you need to use it in the future. You should also be aware that any physician or medical practitioner who treats you is now required by law to make a report to law enforcement, including your name and the extent and nature of your injuries.

This legal requirement should not keep you from seeking medical attention. The most important thing is that you get the medical care you need.

To the extent that you can, try to save anything that will show you were battered and how badly you were injured (any torn or bloody clothing, for example). It is also a good idea to keep a diary or journal and document each incident of abuse. If you do not take legal action now, but change your mind later, you will need proof that you were assaulted.

Try to get a friend or someone from the family violence shelter to take color photographs of your injuries as soon as possible after the beating. You can also have pictures taken by your doctor, the police or sheriff's deputies, if you choose to call them.

Ask your doctor for a copy of your medical records after you are treated. You should also request a copy of the crime report (described in Chapter 3) from the police or sheriff's department.

Understanding Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence against a spouse or partner can take many forms, a number of which are listed below. You may be a victim of domestic violence if your partner:

• Hits, kicks, slaps or shoves you.
• Is extremely jealous or has an explosive temper.
• Throws things at you or breaks things in anger.
• Criticizes, threatens or blames you frequently.
• Tries to control your behavior or forces you to have sex.

The information in this chapter was prepared to help you understand why domestic violence occurs. Having this knowledge may help you to move toward a violence-free life. 

First and foremost, remember that domestic violence is against the law. If you are being hurt by your partner, there is help available. Contact you local domestic violence program for assistance and for someone to talk with. Your safety and the safety of you children is of the utmost importance.

Facts You Should Know About Domestic Violence

The Family Violence Prevention Fund has compiled the following statistics on domestic violence:

• Every 9 seconds in the United States, a woman is physically abused by her husband or boyfriend.
• More than four million women are battered by their partners each year in this country.
• Some 42 percent of female homicide victims are killed by their intimate male partners.
• About one in five women who are victims of domestic violence report having suffered at least three assaults in the previous six months.
• Around 30 percent of women who are treated for injuries in an emergency department have been battered.
• Once out of every three Americans has witnessed an incident of domestic violence.

Characteristics Of Domestic Violence

Violence between partners in a relationship may be triggered by numerous factors, including:

• Stressful or frustrating life situations such as loss of a job, financial problems or pregnancy.
• Role changes (for example, the woman starts school or goes to work) that may impact the batterer's sense of control.
• Use of alcohol and/or drug abuse, which may increase abusive behavior.
• Attitudes and beliefs on the part of the batterer that rationalize abuse ("show the woman who's boss" or "a little slap is good for her").
• Sadistic personality of the batterer.
• Mental or physical disorders.

While domestic violence is not hereditary, it has been shown to be learned behavior that is often handed down from one generation to the next. Many adults who experienced abuse or family violence during childhood now accept it as a normal part of life. In fact, some men and women do not even realize that physically assaulting their spouse is a crime.

In the past, domestic violence was largely viewed as a "family matter." Law Enforcement, courts, hospitals, churches and social service agencies hesitated to intervene. Today, however, as part of the growing concern with violence in general, these organizations and other community groups are looking more closely at violence in the home, and they can offer valuable assistance to victims.

There is no typical profile of domestic violence victims, but they are usually female (some 95 percent are women). Young, old, single, married, professional, unemployed, rich or poor - all may be potential victims of domestic violence. The problem of domestic violence occurs throughout society and affects all socioeconomic, cultural and ethnic groups.

Children in abusive homes are also victims of domestic violence, even if they are not physically abused themselves. Witnessing violence in the home causes emotional suffering and many corresponding problems for children, including increased anxiety, aggressive behavior, depression and lack of self-esteem. Youngsters who grow up in hostile or abusive environments are much more likely to demonstrate violent behavior as adolescents than children who are raised in nonviolent homes. Exposure to violence as a way of life may also result in their becoming involved in abusive relationships as adults.

The Batterer

Similarly, there is no single description of domestic abusers, other than that they are usually male. Like the victim, a batterer may come from any walk of life. To outsiders, he may appear to be a good provider, a warm and loving father and a law-abiding citizen. Nevertheless, he frequently has a low opinion of himself. A batterer may be under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of the assault. He may refuse to accept responsibility for his destructive behavior, claiming, "I was drunk," "I didn't know what I was doing," or "It just happened." The batterer may fell the abuse was justified or argue that his partner was at fault. He may believe he will never d it again. In any case, the assaults usually continue.

For Better Or For Worse

One of the most frequently asked questions about domestic violence is, "Why does a victim stay?" There are many reasons why women (or men) remain in violent relationships: love, fear, pride, loyalty, embarrassment, children, lack of knowledge about options, low self-esteem, or a combination of these factors. Victims often hope that the batterer will change, and they may even accept responsibility for the abuse. In addition, women who lack money and job skills may be financially dependent on the abuser, especially if they have children.

Some women are ashamed or embarrassed to admit they are being beaten, or that they made the wrong choice of a partner. Cultural, religious and personal beliefs or practices also play a strong role in a victims decision to stay in a marriage or relationship. Some women remain in violent situations simply because they believe their partner's promises to change. For battered men, the shame and embarrassment are greatly intensified due to social roles and expectations.

Finally, and most significantly, women stay in violent relationships because they fear the consequences of leaving their partner. Three out of every four battered women are beaten after they leave (in other words, they are divorced or separated at the time of the incident). This can be the most dangerous time - if the batterer thinks he is losing control of the woman, all too often he will resort to violence.

The Cycle Of Violence

Domestic Violence is not limited to physical abuse and threats; is also include emotional and verbal harassment and any unwanted sexual activity. Many battering incidents follow a common pattern call the cycle of violence. What happens during the cycle can help to explain why some women feel so guilty and ashamed of their partner's violence toward them. It also explains why they many find it difficult to leave, even when their lives are in danger. The cycle of violence involves a tension - building phase, a violent incident and a period of loving and closeness or reconciliation.

The Tension - Building Phase

The first phase in the cycle of violence is characterized by tension between the batterer and victim. While stress is a normal factor in life and in all relationships, some people, for a variety of reasons, react to it violently. During the tension building phase, the woman sense her partner's increasing agitation. She may or may not know what is wrong. Her partner lashes out at her in anger, challenging her, saying she is stupid, incompetent and unconcerned about his welfare. The woman typically accepts this blame and tries hard not to make any "mistakes" or say something that may upset her partner. She takes responsibility for making him feel better, setting herself up to feel guilty when he eventually explodes in spite of her best efforts to please him.

During the increasing tension, the woman rarely becomes angry, even at the most unreasonable demands. Instead, she internalizes her anger and suffers depression, anxiety and a sense of helplessness. She may even have physical symptoms related to her emotional distress such as headaches, upset stomach, insomnia or fatigue. These problems increase her sense of worthlessness, loss of control and vulnerability to her partners criticisms.

The woman may deny her fear and minimize the seriousness of the threat, believing she can control the situation. Even if she acknowledges the danger, she may be reluctant to seek help. She feels ashamed of her failure to please her partner, and she believes that if other people knew about the violence, they would blame her. As the tension increases, so do minor episodes of violence such as pinching, tripping, slapping or shoving. The batterer knows his behavior is inappropriate, and fears the woman will leave him. That fear of rejection and loss increases his rage at his partner and his need to control her.

During this phase, the couple's children are also affected. They may feel tense, afraid, angry or confused. They may side with one or the other parent, hide, deny what is happening, or try to distract their parents.

The Violent Episode

The tension-building phase ends in an explosion of violence. The incident that set off the man's violent behavior is often trivial or unknown, leaving the woman feeling desperately confused and helpless. During the episode, the batterer is out of control and often unaware of how much injury he is inflicting. The woman may or may not fight back. She often tries to escape the violence; she may call for help. If she cannot escape the beating, she may make herself feel as if it is happening in a dream. She may not be aware of how badly she is being hurt.

Children may be harmed as well. Those who witness the violence may feel frightened or trapped. They may watch helplessly or hide; they may even attempt to stop the fighting or try to help the victim. Children caught in the cross fire of domestic violence can become accidental victims of serious injuries when objects are thrown or weapons are used. Also, youngsters who hear, but do not see, the violence may suffer emotional trauma.

Following the battering, the victim may be in a state of physical and psychological shock. She may be passive and withdrawn or hysterical and incoherent. She may be unaware of the seriousness of her injuries and resist getting treatment. The batterer discounts the episode and usually underestimates the harm he has inflicted. He may refuse to summon medical help, even if the woman's injuries are life-threatening.

The Loving Reconciliation

The loving reconciliation, also called the "honeymoon" or "remorseful" phase, begins a few hours to several day after the violent episode. Both the man and the woman have a profound sense of relief that "it's over." While the woman may be initially angry at her partner, he begins an intense campaign to "win her back." Just as his tension and violence were overdone, his apologies, gifts and gestures of love may also be excessive; he may shower his partner with love and praise that temporarily helps repair her shattered self-esteem. It is nearly impossible for her to leave his during this period, since he is meeting her desperate need to see herself as a competent and lovable woman.

In addition, the woman's feelings of power and romantic ideals are nurtured. She believe this gentle, loving person is her "real" man. If she can only find the key, she can control him and prevent further violent episodes. No matter how often the violence has happened before, somehow this episode seems different; this time, it will never happen again. During the loving reconciliation, a strong bond develops between the couple, isolating them both from reality and from anyone who tries to intervene in their destructive relationship. Friends or family who have supported the woman and urged her to get out of the violent situation may now be seen as "enemies" trying to separate the loving couple.

Meanwhile, children living in the home during this period may express feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, relief, guilt or anger. They may try to please their parents or attempt to distract themselves to forget the stress of the battering incident.

The loving reconciliation is a time of intense pleasure and reassurance for the couple that convinces them there is nothing wrong with their relationship. Their isolation discourages them from seeking assistance, and when the violence happens again, the woman may find that she has fewer place to turn for support. Psychologists have found that any behavior followed by a positive reward happens more and more frequently. Thus, the loving reconciliation becomes a kind of reward for the violence. The more often periods of uncomfortable tension end in violent explosions followed by loving closeness, the less likely the couple will be to develop alternatives for handling stress. And it is this cycle that must be broken in order to end the violence.

The Increasing Spiral Of Violence

One aspect of family violence that is particularly troubling is the progressive, spiraling nature of the problem. Once violence has begun, research indicates that it not only continues, by increases over time in both frequency and severity. The three-phase cycle also begins to change. The tension-building phases become shorter and more intense, the acute battering incidents more frequent and severe, and the loving reconciliation shorter and less intense. After may years of battering, the man may no longer apologize at all.

The psychological consequences for the woman of the increasingly severe cycle of violence are feelings and behavior patterns in response to the violence that function as traps which keep her from escaping the violent relationship. The escalating violence increases her need, but decreases her ability, to find alternative to the violent situation.

Most abuse victims fear for their lives and the lives of their children. They may tried to leave before, only to be found by their partners and abuse or "punished" even worse than before. Such victims often believe that there is no help for them. Understanding the psychological consequences of the violent relationship can help a woman to choose constructive life alternatives.

Living Violence-Free

The breaking pint is different for every individual, but the day usually comes when a victim decides she can no longer take the physical and emotional abuse. It may be after the first assault or the fiftieth.

Everyone has the right to be safe from beatings and threats. When you have made the decision to live violence-free, it is important to decide what actions you wish to take in order to create this environment for yourself and you children. Once you are out of physical danger, the information contained in this chapter can help as you consider the options available to you.

Your first decision will probably focus on your short-term future. Of primary consid4eration will be your own protection and that of your children. Ask yourself if you want to remain in your present situation. Even if this was the first time you were beaten,. And you were not seriously injured, the event should not be taken lightly. In some relationships, battering is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. However, in a large number of cases, once the violence has started, it develops into a pattern of escalating abuse.

There are a number of first steps you can take. You may decide to:

• Remain with your batterer, seek counseling for yourself and your children,, and encourage your partner to seek counseling.
• Move out for a period of time or for good.
• Insist that you abusing partner move out for a period of time or for good.
• Take legal action against your batterer.
• Join a support group of victims of domestic violence.

Remaining With Your Batterer

If you decide that you want to remain in the relationship, at least for the time being, consider the following alternatives.

Seek Counseling

If you do nothing else, seek individual counseling for yourself and your children, and encourage your partner to get counseling as well. (Counseling as a couple is generally no recommended in battering cases.) Individual counseling can help to prevent the growth of an intolerably abusice situation. In fact, counseling can be of invaluable assistance no matter which action you choose to take. A family violence shelter or your county mental health agency can help direct you to counseling services. If you are embarrassed about going to a counselor, remember, it is the batterer's action - not yours - that is the crime.

Formulate An Action Plan

You may want to plan ahead and develop some action steps in case another battering incident occurs. Making preparations in advance will help you feel more in control of the situation. It is also better to think about what you would do, where you would go and what you would take with you while you are calm and not in danger. Your action plan could include:

• Making a list of people you could call in the event of a battering incident, or if you felt you were in danger.
• Deciding where you would go if you had to leave your home (i.e., contacting a family violence shelter, knowing the location of a safe place such as the police or Sheriff's Department or a hospital, making arrangements with a friend or relative you can trust).
• Completing your Plan Ahead Checklist with emergency phone numbers and other information you would need if you had to leave suddenly.
• Packing a small bag with clothing and toiletries for yourself and your children and hiding it in a safe place (include medications, personal items, each child's favorite toy, etc.).
• Keeping money, keys and copies of identification and other important papers together in a safe place in case you need them (or knowing where these documents are so you can find them quickly).

Removing yourself and your children from the violence will give you time to evaluate your options in a safe environment. If you have decided to move to a family violence shelter or some other safe place, whether for a short time or permanently, it is important to consider the following.

Taking Your Children

You can legally take your children with you when you move out, unless your husband has been given sole legal custody of the them. Seeking temporary custody within a few days is important. A Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO), which is explained later in this chapter, is one way to achieve this. A lawyer can also help you.

Your children may be targets for abuse in your absence. If you believe you are in immediate danger and cannot take your children, arrange for their temporary protective custody by contacting the police or sheriff's department right away. This does no mean you will lose your right to custody of you children. The question of permanent custody will be decided later by a judge.

Deciding Where To Go

If possible, stay with a woman friend or relatives. This is usually a better situation than staying with a man who lives alone unless he is your brother, father or grandfather. Living with a man to whom you are not married may hurt your chances of getting custody of your children.

You and your children can go to a family violence shelter temprarily while you decide what you want to do next. The staff at the shelter can help you to obrtain legal, financial and medical assistance. You will also have an opportunity to talk with other women who have been battered. Most shelters are free or charge a very low fee. You can find a shelter by calling 1-800-799-7233), and emergency hotline in your community or a women's services organization. You can also ask the police or sheriff's department to refer you to a shelter. If space is not available in a shelter, the staff can help with other alternatives.

If you take your children with you, you may worry about their emotional well being, living in a temporary situation or having to move. You will naturally be concerned about having them feel as secure and normal as possible. Since children are considered primary victims of domestic violence, many family violence shelters offer counseling specifically for them. These counseling programs use play therapy and art therapy to help children express their feelings about living in a violent home. The shelter thus becomes a refuge, a place where you and your children can feel safe. And, most important of all, your children will no longer be exposed to the emotional and physical trauma of domestic violence in the home, which can be both damaging and dangerous.

Knowing What To Take

When you leave, whether you believe it will be for a short time or for good, it is important to take the following items:

• Money
• Keys
• Driver's License
• Car Registration
• Checkbooks
• Credit Cards
• Medications
• Address Book
• Green Card(s) for immigration verification

• Your birth certificate
• Your children's birth certificates
• Automobile pink slip
• Lease, rental agreement or house deed
• Bankbooks
• Insurance papers
• Pictures and personal items of importance to you
• Medical records for yourself and your children
• Social security cards
• Welfare identification
• School records
• Work permits
• Passport
• Divorce papers
• Jewelry

If you are thinking about leaving, it would be a good idea to put these things together in one place so you can get to them in a hurry. As discussed earlier, you may want to pack some clothing, toilet articles and personal items for yourself and your children and keep these hidden in case you need them. If you have kept a diary or journal of abusive incidents, be sure to take it with you, along with this handbook, for future reference.

Remember, you may legally take anything that belongs to you alone and anything that belongs to you and your husband together. You can withdraw money you have in a joint back account with your husband or partner. It is against the law to take anything that belongs only to your husband or partner. It is also illegal to destroy property that belongs to both of you or only to your husband or partner.

If you cannot take everything you need when you leave, you have the right to ask the police or sheriff's deputies to escort you back to your house later to pick up items. They will only allow you to take things that obviously belong to you or your children, such as clothing.

Once You Move

Remember, you do not want to leave any clues behind as to your whereabouts. I you are worried that your batterer may try to find you, be careful about giving out your new address and phone number (or letting your children give out this information). Consider renting a post office box for your mail or using the address and phone number of a friend. Remember that addresses are listed on protective orders and crime reports, and that credit cards, checks and telephone numbers can be traced.

If you decide to take legal action against you batterer, use a post office box number or you lawyer's address as your address. This is extremely important if your partner has threatened your life, or you believe he will attempt to find you and abuse you further.

Pursuing Legal Options

You may decide at some pint to take legal action against your batterer. If so, seeking legal advice is a good way to become informed about your rights and legal alternatives. Among those legal options are calling the police or sheriff's department and making a private person's (citizen's) arrest, obtaining a court order for protection against your partner, or working with the district attorney's office to see that your batterer is prosecuted.

Calling 911

Calling 911 will set the criminal justice system in motion. Your local police or sheriff's department can help you in the following ways:

• As noted earlier, they can protect you from immediate danger by helping you and your children get out of the house safely.
• In certain circumstances, they can arrest your batterer, which may lead to his conviction and possible imprisonment.

If you wish to make a private person's arrest, the responding officers will explain the procedure to you. Once you have told them what happened to you and have signed the arrest form, the officers will take your batterer into custody. Be aware, however, that the law allows the police or sheriff's department to release the man from custody if the think the charges against him are not legitimate.

The Crime Report. Whether or not the batterer is arrested, a crime report will be completed for all domestic violence incidents. This report is the official record of what happened and contains the date, names of the people involved and the details of the incident. It is important that the police or sheriff's deputies make a report because:

• It provides a background history of the batterer's behavior that can assist in prosecution of the offender if you decide to pursue legal alternatives against him.
• It helps you to show good cause for the court to grant a Domestic Violence Protective Order (explained below) should you ever need one.

It is important to provide a complete description of your injuries, both visible and non-visible, and any pain you have as a result of the assault. Be sure to let the officer know if your batterer has a substance abuse problem or access to weapons. Even if you do not plan to take legal action at the time, request the case number and officer's name and badge number if they are not automatically given to you. This information will make it easier for you to get a copy of the report later.

There is a possibility, depending on the circumstances, that filing a crime report may result in your batterer's arrest, even if you decide you do not want him arrested.

Obtaining A Court Order

There are differednt kinds of court orders available that help protect domestic violence victims by prohibiting or requiring certain actions by the spouse or partner. A court order can protect you and your children from your batterer if you;

• Are married or were once married to him.
• Live with him or used to live with him.
• Have or have had a dating or engagement relationship with him.
• Have had a child with the batterer, or have a child of your own who needs protection from him.

A law enforcement officer can obtain an Emergency Protective Order (EPO) for you if he or she is called to a scene involving domestic violence. There is no cost to you for an EPO, which is valid for seven calendar days. You can then request a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO) yourself from the court in a civil proceeding. An initial, temporary DVPO can be granted without your batterer being present in court. A court hearing for a permanednt DVPO, at which the batterer is in attendance and can present evidence, is held later. There is no court filing cost for this type of order.

With an EPO or DVPO, the court can prohibit the batterer from stiking, molesting, bothering you at work, or taking your children away from you. Protective orders can also prohibit the batterer from stalking you, making telephone calls to you, contacting you repeately by mail with the intent to harrass yu, or destroying your personal poperty. You can also aske the court to issue a Stay -Away Order protecing you as eithere the victim or a witness in a criminal case against the batterer. This order prohibits the batterer form attempting to harass,, intimidate or convince you not to testify. I t is best to ask for this type of order as soon as possible (that is, when the defendant is arraigned).

Requesting a Protective Order. You can apply for any type of protective order whether or not you have left the house to avoid further abuse, or have filed for divorce. It is best to request a protective order from the court as so as possible after you have been battered. You do not have to hire a lawyer to apply for a protective order. If you prefer to have a lawyer, and your husband or partner is employed, and attorney may be willing to handle your case with the expectation that the court will order your batterer to pay your attorney fees. Application forms with instruction booklets are available at courthouses, district attorney's offices, most familuy violence shelters, and some police or sheriff's demartments.

Temporarty protective orders granted by the court are effective for only 20 to 25 days. If yu wish to recieved a longer-term protective order (up to three yars, or more in some cases), you will have to attend an Order to Show Cause (OSC) hearing. Your batterer must receive notice of the OSC hearing prior to its taking place, so that the court can hear from both sides.

If your batterer is served notice but does no appear at the hearing, the court will hear your case anyway and will probably grant the order you request by default. At the OSC hearing, the judge has the poser to order your batterer to stay away from you and your hose, to provide support for your children if he is their father, and to reimburse you for any loss of earning or out-of-pocket medical and legal esxpenses caused as a result of the battering.

Enforcing the Court Order. The law requires that a copy of a temporary or longer-term protective order ganted by the court must be delivered to your batterer and to the local law enforcement agencies that operate in the areas covered by the order; it will also be registered wuith the Department of Justice Domestic Violence Protective Order Registry. You cannot serve the papers on the batterer yourself - the law requires that they be served by another person. However, the court fee for serving the order may be waived if you file a form stating that you cannot afford the fee. Also, the batterer will be considered to have been served if he or she is present in court when the judge issues the protective order.

Be sure to keep a certified copy of any court order for yourself and carry it with you. This is very imprtant should you need asistance from the police or sheriff's department in enforcing the court order.

After you have obtained an EPO or DVPO, and the batterer is served with a copy of the order, he is not permitted to purchase or recived a firearm while the protective order is in force. All protective orders should be clearly makred with the notice of the gun restriction. Also, you may request that the batterer be ordered to give up any firearms he already owns or possesses during the time the protective order is in effect. If the court so order the batterer, he must turn over any firearms in his possession to a local law enforcement agency for storage, or sell them to a license gund dealer and provide the court with proof of the sale.

Remember, the protective order remains in force regardless of your actions./ Even if you allow the batterer to move back in with you, and the protective order states that he was to stay out of your home, the other terms of the order can still be enforced if violated by the batterer (for example, if he strikes you again). Should you decide you no longer want the protective order, you must ask the court for its removal.

If your batterer ignores the court order in any way, there are three things you can do:

• Call 911 and ask to have him arrested. Tell the officer on the phone about the court order (he or she can verify the existence, terms and current status fo the order through the Department of Justice Registry or appropriate law enforcement agency). Show your copy to the officer when he or she arreives.
• Make a private person's (citizens) arrest once law enforcement officers arrive at the scene.
• Go to court and ask the judge to hold your husband or partner in contempt of court for violating the order.

If you do not have an attorney, the court may appoint one for you and order your husband or partner to pay court costs and reasonable legal fees.

Prosecuting the Batterer

As mentioned earlier, if you make a complaing and a crime report is filed, you batterer may be arrested. Then, the district attorney (the prosecutor) will decide wheter there is enough evidence to begin criminal proceedings against him. For the same reason that the police or sheriff's depuities are sometimes reluctant to arrest your partner, the district attorney may be hesitant to prosecute. What you say or do can have a great deal of influence on this decision. You are most likely the primary (or only) witness, and your cooperation is essential. The district attorney will be more inclined to prosecute if he or she feels you will be a consistent witness and will not change your mind or back away from the situation later.

However, since domestic violence is a criminal act against the state, the district attorney can prosecute without your approval or cooperation, if he or she has sufficient evidence. In any event, it the district attorney decides to prosecute your batterer, you will be called upon to testify. ?You do noit need to hire a private attorney; hoever, if you would like to consult a lawyer, andyoueither have the mnoney or qualify for legal aid, you may do so.

The Arraignment. Within 48 hours of his arrest, your batterer (the defendant) will make his first appearance in court at a hearing called and arraignment. He will be inofrmed of the charges agaisnt him and must enter a pla of guilty or not guilty. The judge will then decide whether to hold him in jail until the next hearing or release him.

Most defendants in domestic violence cases are released at this point. Your partner can be released in two ways:

• By being required to post a certain amount of money (bond or bail).
• On his own recognizance (his personal promise to appear in court at all future hearings). For this to happen, the law requires a hearing in open court after two day notice to the prosecutor, who must be given a chance to be heard.

Either way, your batterer is free to come and go as he pleases until the trial (except for the possible limitatins imposed by any court order you may have obtained). You shold keep this in mind and ensure your sfaety (and that of your children, if you feel they are in danger) during this time.

The Trial and Sentencing. At the trial, you will be called to testify. You will be asked by the prosecutor to describe to the court the attack against you in great detail. Your batterer's attorney will also ask you questions. The trial can be a traumatic experience because of the questioning and because you will see your attacker in the courtroom. You can prepare yourself for the trial by reviewing th crime report so that you have the facts firmly fixed in your mind. The entries in your diary or journal can also help you. In addition, you may want to have a friend or counselor with you for support during the trial.

Keep in mind that the more detailed the information you rovide the court in your testimony, the better the chance thatyour batterer will be convicted and sentenced to jail. This can be a long and sometimes difficult process, but it is important to follow through with it if you are convinced your batterer should be prosecuted.

At the end of the trial, your batterer will be found guilty or not guilty (unless the jury cannot unanimously agree on guilt, resulting in a "hung jury"). If your batterer is found guilty, the judge will decide wheter he will be sentenced to jail or state prison or placed on probation. It is important to know that men who are arrested for battering do not spend much time behind bars, even after they have been convicted of a crime. This is especially true if it is the first arrest for battering. Probation, with a requirement that the batterer attend an approved counseling program, is often granted after a first offencse, depending in part on the seriousness of the attack. If the jury cannot unanimously agree on a verdict, it is up to the prosecutory to decide whether to try the case again or dismess the charges.

Sentencing Alternatives. There are a number of sentencing alternatives in domestic violence cases.