| "As we emerge from the other side of the Bear,
behold Oakhurst. On the left, we have the remarkable
life-sized replica of the once famous Wawona
"Tunnel-Tree," towering over the Visitor Center
in tribute to Nature's handiwork. Coming up on the right,
in front of the newly renamed Liberty Motel, is that
famous 24-foot high Lady welcoming the tired and the poor
to this land of opportunity. Staring at it from the
mini-mart across the street is a 40-foot bust of that
famous Native American, Iron Eyes Cody, with that famous
tear streaking his face--hey, folks, isn't that
powerful!" "Turning your attention to the
mighty intersection just ahead, we have the gallows on
the right (the bear has been sentenced to hang, and the
lion is waiting to pull the lever), and on the
left--there it is!--The Rite Aid Oak Tree, a 600-foot
high fiberglass likeness erected in memory of the town's
namesake! Tickets for the ride are available at the front
of the bus. Farther down on the left is the Giant
Doughnut, a fine work of civic art commissioned by a
clothing store that is now being remodeled into a
doughnut shop! Looming up ahead is what you've all been
waiting for, imposing its great shadow over all of
Oakhurst--there it is!--the 700-foot high Mount
Rushmore-Deadwood, where the faces have been changed to
honor our Board Of Supervisors. Situated in the very lap
of this gigantic sculpture is the Gold Miner Shopping
Mall, where you're sure to find some real bargains...and
don't forget the postcards!"
9/97 MILLENNIA, SCHMILLENNIA
Regarding the recent flurry of millennia articles in
Sierra Star 9/11/97, Millennia, schmillennia. What's the
fascination with zeros? And, in the case of a sphere
(Earth) circling around another sphere (Sun), what makes
us think that the cosmos will care which dot on that
circle we designate as the beginning of our year?
Having chosen the winter solstice as the top of the
year, plus a date in the stream of history significant to
those doing the counting, the counting begins. But not
for the first time. Ever notice the Jewish or Chinese
year? Why don't we go bananas when their zeros line up?
Which brings us back to all those zeros. Because we
count in multiples of ten, up come the zeros, now and
then. A lesser wedding anniversary is marked by 26
revolutions around the sun, while a big one is at 25
revolutions.
Thus captivated by multiples of ten, and western
civilization (which has crammed its calendar down the
world's throat) having agreed that we'll be passing an
invisible point on an invisible circle for the 1,999th
time since they last set the counter, so there'll be
three zeros on the calendar, then what? Party? Sure. Wish
that the cosmos, or aliens, or anything other than a
percentage of earth's population will even notice? Get
some humility.
3/2/90 BLANK BILLBOARDS(never sent)
Oakhurst is currently embraced by two pleasingly apt
symbols of its future demise. They are blank billboards,
waiting to be filled by those who would flaunt their
disregard and contempt for the people and beauty of our
little town. This, while Fresno, the city we love to
scorn, is battling against billboards on Hwy 41 and
planting trees. Oakhurst residents have expressed concern
at our becoming like Fresno--Fresno residents may rightly
fear the reverse.
5/18/91 NEW SIGN!(never sent)
Hey everybody! We've got another new sign in Oakhurst!
It's bright, fluorescent, plastic, and BIG. It's bound to
bring in lots of business. I hope everybody will take the
time to drive by and admire this new addition to the
ambiance of our town, and to ponder the care for our
community and aesthetic judgment demonstrated by some of
our local business developers.
OAKLESS IN OAKHURST
9/14/88
During the week of August 28, one of Oakhurst's
ancient, beautiful oak trees was felled. Now, only the
stump remains on a construction site at the intersection
of highways 41 and 49. Chalk up another milestone for
Oakhurst's aesthetic deterioration.
Oakhurst's business district is an architectural
hodgepodge, distinguished by garish plastic signs,
bizarre color combinations, and barren parking lots. I
think the Chamber of Commerce should get together and
draft a set of architectural guidelines for new
businesses. Otherwise, someday, when Oakhurst is a
full-blown city, and highway 41 looks just like Fresno's
Blackstone Avenue, we will have to spend lots of money on
revitalization and beautification. And Oakhurst will be
oakless.
12/11/88
About a month ago, a healthy, ancient oak was felled
at the commercial construction site near the intersection
of highways 41 and 49, to provide clearance for the
southeast corner of some building.
More recently, the exquisite corpse of a fairly mature
white pine was propped up in the middle of town, perhaps
as a warning to the other trees. The nearly $800 for this
project would surely have been better spent on
transplanting a living tree and providing its irrigation.
The presence of a living, community Christmas tree
might discourage the future use of that corner for
something less sightly, and redeem us of our recent sins
against nature.
7/24/89 MURDERED OAK PLAZA
Since the namers of the new commercial development on
Highway 41 ignored my suggestion to call it
"Murdered Oak Plaza," choosing instead the
inane "Junction 90," I've thought of another
way we might memorialize the priceless old oak tree they
slaughtered last fall.
Some may have noticed that in the northeast corner of
the complex, in what was once the shade of the old oak
tree, is a dumpster. While last year the Chamber of
Commerce symbolized our regard for trees, by spending
over $500 to kill one and erect its corpse in the middle
of town in honor of Christmas, the builders of Junction
90 have symbolized their regard for trees, too, and much
more eloquently, in honor of refuse disposal.
In order to elevate our dumpster to its proper status
as a local point-of-interest, I suggest the Chamber
dredge up a little more money to install on it a plaque,
inscribed thus: IN MEMORY OF OUR TOWN'S NAMESAKE: THE
OAKHURST MEMORIAL DUMPSTER.
8/12/88 AIRPORT IN OAKHURST
In response to Scott Santa Maria's letter to the Star
(8/11), yes, small aircraft, on the ground, are probably
less noisy than logging trucks. However, when you suspend
either vehicle a thousand feet over Oakhurst, you lose
the benefits of trees and hills that block and disperse
the noise, which then carries everywhere, uninhibited.
In city suburbs, where many Oakhurst residents once
lived, you can't go outside without hearing the rumble of
traffic, which is regularly overpowered by the buzzing of
a plane. After twenty years of this, I fled to Oakhurst,
which is now busily making itself into another Fresno.
Incidentally, if Scott is right, that providing a
"shot at a career" in flying is a contributing
reason for bringing an airport to Oakhurst, let's at
least be glad he's not shooting for a career in
petrochemical production, or hydro-electric dam-building.
|
